If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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