As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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