i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
