i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
