i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
