i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize