'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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