kristin has been a bad kristin
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize