I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is Oprah even human
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
