Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
