He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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