Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
