fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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