You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
