my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
