I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
