She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
