The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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