I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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