dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
is that a dick in a sweater?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
