he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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