y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
