God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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