You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
