she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
