is your mom at the bar?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
