**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
