are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So apparently I’m into choking now
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
