I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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