Dual....:-)
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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