Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
