ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
