um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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