Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Success! We fucked roommates!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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