We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
