He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
