A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
