I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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