Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
