Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
