how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
two words: eviction party
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
