My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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