have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
