I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
