Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
