It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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