More tranny stories later!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
