So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize