So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
