btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
