Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
