I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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