Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
