im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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